Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
