There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
