Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
