Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize