im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
