i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
