I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
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