As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize