I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
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I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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