Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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