Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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