I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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