Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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