Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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