umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
