Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
