Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
