its not stalking. its research.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
