I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
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It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
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I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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