Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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