I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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