Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
