In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
love makes seman taste better
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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