Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
accomplished twins. life is a go
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
