All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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