my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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