haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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