Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
