She is in my trunk
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
