flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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