the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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