$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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