I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
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My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
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This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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