just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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