i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
