last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
