just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
