I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
