Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
