after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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