My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
