yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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