just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
