Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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