i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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