someone get that fucking seahorse.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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