Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
