Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
