which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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