So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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