I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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