she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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