I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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