I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
