Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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